Kiss
Puke
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
