We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
