That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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