We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
