it wasn't lemon gatorade
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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