my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
