Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
