He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
