my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize