Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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