You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
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the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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