that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
