i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize