:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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