You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
