what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
