I'm going to jail i love you
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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