Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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