Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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