Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize