If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
