I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is not my ceiling
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
