would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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