im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
