Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
