Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
