bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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