At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
