..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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