When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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