I need help removing her.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
