): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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