OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
