Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
