i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
