Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Randomize
