we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
