what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
