chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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