You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
