so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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