Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
