I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
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Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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