My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
