Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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