Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
