my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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