i think my tv is drunk
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
