Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
