Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
