I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
