I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
