If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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