Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
