I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
