Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
