According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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