she was so not down for the gang bang
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
