I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
