Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize