Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
