Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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