Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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