Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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