all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
