im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
