distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize