If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
