Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize